My last article was about blow jobs.
More specifically, why I love giving them and why you should too.
It prompted a response from my friend and fellow sex columnist, Alice Paloma, which prompted a lively discussion on reddit. Apparently people have a lot of opinions about blow jobs.
As promised, I’m going to address the other side of oral sex. Because I’ve never gone down on a woman, I got a little help from a friend in that department (which we’ll get to in a minute), but first I’m going to talk about reciprocity—something I do know a little something about.
The first point I made in my article was that women can’t expect guys to go down on them if they don’t do it, too. The same goes for guys.
Sure, there are guys who just don’t do it—and that’s annoying, and unfair, and frustrating. More often than not, the guys will do it, just not well enough or long enough. Sometimes it’s nice to get all hot and bothered and have to wait until sex to come. But most of the time the tease isn’t worth it.
Women aren’t like men in that regard. We can put you in our mouths for a minute and you’re ready to go, but the reverse isn’t necessarily true. Bringing a woman to orgasm through oral sex takes time, dedication, and perseverance—two flicks of the tongue just won’t do.
Whereas blow jobs as foreplay are often used just to get started and aren’t taken to the point or orgasm (because then you have to wait around until the guy is ready for sex) cunnilingus as foreplay should be a means to an end.
Thanks to this fun little thing called multiple orgasms, you can get us off once with your mouth, and then, if you’re lucky (and talented), you can get us off again during sex. In fact—and I’m speaking just for myself, because I don’t know if this is the case for other women—I’m more likely to come during sex, and more likely to come harder, if I’ve already had an orgasm.
So you can do a half-assed job going down on me and risk not getting me off at all, or you can put a little time and effort into it, and get me off twice. Your call.
As for why you should want to go through all the trouble (aside from the fact that we do, too), I’ll defer to my good friend Au Natchural, long-time lothario and lover of ladies, for why he loves going down on women and why you should too.
The Cunning Linguist
By Au Natchural
Why do I like giving head? Is that a real question?
Is there anything more erotic than a girl you like, splayed out, helpless and trembling, her most private of parts gleefully exposed? Feeling the trembling in her inner thighs, her moans tickling your ears like the finest of goose down? Every inch of the female body that you’ve dreamed about since Junior High, exposed, and within arm’s—or tongue’s—reach? Is there anything more exciting than the first time you take her panties off, both of you brimming with expectation at what will immediately follow? The pleasure of giving pleasure?
As a male, I am quite visually stimulated, and first off, cunnilingus gives you full view of her beautiful symmetry. Not only that, it’s widely accepted that the female orgasm is more intense, and this is probably the easiest way to be a part of it. Having a woman come on your face should be one of your favorite sensations if you are a heterosexual male.
There’s also the mystery… I’ve gone down on over a hundred women and, like snowflakes, no two women’s vulvas—or underwear for that matter—are exactly alike.
I think Will Ferrell’s speech about panties,
and the mystery of perhaps seeing something you’ve never seen before,
definitely applies here, and the glee, wonder, and mystery on Mr. Ferrell’s face definitely captures my infatuation with pleasuring the female body. As a pervert, it’s just amazing how up close and personal you get there, inhaling her scent, admiring her “haircut,” with hands everywhere (especially the ass, I feel cunnilingus is especially cathartic for us ass-men). Not only that, you are in complete control, “driving” her if you will. Insert a delicate finger? She’ll never know it was coming. Perhaps wander south into back door territory? Oh the surprise on her face!
As a pragmatist and an artisan, cunnilingus appeals to me because it is task oriented. Sure you have the initial tongue tickling and finger prodding, but when it gets down to it, you have a job to do, and paying attention to her likes and dislikes until you get it right is really not unlike the sense of accomplishment I get from tuning a musical instrument, in fact, you use your ear in a very similar way (not to mention the rhythmic element involved in taking your partner to the next level). You have to tune in to what REALLY is getting her going, which can be, at times, like finding a needle in a sexual haystack, but the reward is always worth it. Awash with pheromones, a zen-like calm comes over me once I solve a new woman’s orgasm; it’s the sexual equivalent of solving a Rubik’s cube, and it’s something I wish I could put on my resume.
Finally, from a selfish standpoint, NOBODY, I mean NOBODY gets a guy off better than a woman who has just had the orgasm of her life. It’s just not possible.
A freshly orgasm-ed woman is completely relaxed, completely uninhibited (she wouldn’t have come if she wasn’t!) and is God’s most sexual of creatures; there is the confluence of art and nature before you, a woman bathing in pure hedonistic pleasure.
“It is better to give than to receive” is a mantra that applies in all aspects of life.
If you disagree, please, don’t hesitate to give me your girlfriend’s number.
***
Have Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Need Advice? Have a funny/saucy/risqué dating or sex story you’d like to see in print but are too afraid to publish yourself?
Email me!
OliviaQuiver@gmail.com
Or follow me on Twitter!
@OliviaQuiver
